Remember the last time we tried to coax a certain Miss Ruby to crawl and she just didn’t quite make it?
Well.
I guess this is what having a big sister does to you. You just wanna get places and do things.
Jay calls this method Big Toe Crawling.
Archive for the 'Musings' Category
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And yes, I noticed Ruby’s little pose as well. She did that with no prompting.
See more on Jay’s Flickr stream.
I have a confession to make. Which, on a blog, is kinda like saying, “I’m reading aloud every word of this PowerPoint slide.” (And what’s up with that?)
But you’re here. You’re reading. So here goes.
Boy, am I glad Jay doesn’t watch sports.
Let me say that one more time. With feeling.
BOY AM I GLAD JAY DOES NOT WATCH SPORTS!
I note that many a people are into sports, and rightly they should be. How else can you legally watch all sorts of well-toned men and women in various stages of undress, doing athletic feats while you drink beer, eat chips, and yell profanities?
Instead, Jay is into making shit. Like this awesome lamp. And other amazing contraptions that include, but are not limited to, staircases, hot-welded custom baby gates, kitchen countertops…
I make a bad sports widow. Mostly because it took me years to sort of, kind of, understand the two main sports in this country: American Football and Baseball. I still don’t get it. No offense to fans: In both games, there seems to be a lot of waiting. At least I love and understand design.
So I’m secretly glad I don’t have to watch Jay watch sports or have time stand still come Superbowl.
Besides, there isn’t really a game I’m into, except Netball. Jay is amused that I used to be in competitive sports. What? With all my saggy bits? YEAH FOLKS! I was fit! I was semi-toned! I was a pretty good GA (Goal Attack) and captain of the team. Back in the day. When my legs looked good in a short skirt, yo.
Jay’s sports of choice these days is Home Construction. I occasionally lose him to how-to videos by Bob What’s His Face. But there was a time when Mr J was a competitive snowboarder himself.
I believe that’s what’s called “Air.”
That’s hot.
As I have yet to find photographic evidence of my sporting prowess — Hey, all my yearbooks are in Singapore! — you will just have to take my word for it.
And trust me on the legs.
The problem with having two young kids is that you never leave the house.
Or you do, but you need to start prepping at 11 am to get somewhere by 5 pm. You heard me.
5 am: Scream! Wake up. Diaper, feed, diaper, eat breakfast, play, potty break, read a book, diaper, feed, try to put No. 2 to sleep, but No. 1 won’t stop singing, yell at someone, diaper, feed, play.
11 am: Quick, there’s a lull in the singing and crying. Season the piece of pork and stick it into the oven to cook.
11:05 am: Someone’s crying. What is it this time?
11:10 am: Stick No. 1 in front of computer. Feed No. 2, try to put her to sleep yet again. SLEEP! SUCCESS! QUIET! EVERYONE, NO BREATHING!
12 pm: Meat’s ready. Take it out to cool. Heck it, No. 1 is still watching something on the computer but UNLESS THOSE PEOPLE WHO DO STUDIES HAVE TWO YOUNG KIDS IN THEIR OWN HOUSE, I SAY SCREW THE DAMN STUDIES. I’ll let my kid watch a little telly, thank you very much. I need to use the bathroom. Oh is that No. 2 crying?
12:03 pm: Repeat cycle: Diaper, feed, play. Get No. 1 off the computer. Amuse two young girls with toys, songs, games, and every sad trick your Masters-educated ass can muster. I went to school for THIS?
2:30 pm: Quickly! Again! They are distracted. Put No. 2 down in a safe place. No. 1 is humming to herself! Time to pack the diaper bag. Grab extra diapers, clothes, underwear for No.1, snacks for No.1, formula, bottles, water for making milk, snacks for No. 2. Consider designing a diaper bag with a side pocket to conceal small liquor bottles.
2:37 pm: Gosh, do these beings ever need to rest?
3:21 pm: Another break! Time to carve the meat, pack the sandwiches and drinks for me and Jay.
3:30 pm: Last check! Does everyone have clothes on? Oops, I need to brush my teeth. “Ruby! Go potty!” No. 2 needs a diaper change. Strap No. 2 in car seat. “Ruby! Put your shoes on! NOW!”
4 pm: I open my front door for the first time in the day. We are out of the house.
4:10 pm: “Ruby! Ruby! Get in the car! Ruby! Where are you going?” Put No. 2, diaper bag, and prepared dinner in the car. “Ruby! Come over here now!” Finally strap No. 1 in the car seat. Drive to Design Commission Gallery for First Thursday Art Opening.
4:30 pm: Park car. Unload everything.
4:45 pm: I make it with 15 minutes to spare.
Maxine has a face when she likes something. It is best described as a cross between a snigger, a nose scrunch, and heavy breathing. I give you: Maxine and Her Favorite Elephant.
And because I have been remiss in shooting and uploading Max videos, I am including bonus footage highlighting the importance of giving your child options.
Give a baby a toy and you entertain her for a minute. Give a baby used napkins and you entertain her for a minute…and a half.
That, my friends, is an owl. On a branch.
Ruby drew that in art class.
The way art classes for the under-10 work is that the kids are coached to reproduce what is on the blackboard. I think the idea is to teach shapes and copying so they understand how to draw something.
Ruby was not a good copier.
I think that bodes well for her art career.
Oh, hello.
It’s you again.
You the blog reader who has to endure yet another homesick rant by one Dorothy Ho.
I’m sorry. But hey, if you’re reading this in Singapore, you are where I want to be. And if you’re reading this anywhere else, well, this video shows you why I wish I’m not where you are. Confusing much?
There’s not even one frame of Yong Tau Foo and I’m feeling like I need to blow $4,000 to ship me and the girls back there for a shot of Singapore.
Why, people behind this video? WHY?
Why must you make Singapore look so beautiful? Or maybe it’s only beautiful to me because I don’t get to see it much in person these days.
It’s a meta mindf**k when I say I want to go home for vacation, and then when I’m “home,” say I am going home after my vacation.
Home is where I’m not.
I am currently engaged in a battle of wills with the Mighty Maxine.
She does not want to sleep on her bed. She does not want to sleep in my bed. She does not want to sleep in the carseat. She does not want to sleep anywhere.
Except in my arms.
Except I need my arms.
So now, we are entering Hour 2 of Experiment Sleep By Yourself and she is still crying.
What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?
I blog about the Will of the Mighty M while fighting the urge to run up, pick her up, kiss her little noggin, and rock her to sleep in my arms.
SOB.
Dorothy Ho‘s friend request was not accepted by Sam Waterston and 7 other people.
Dorothy Ho took 30 minutes to come up with this non-witty, non-ironic status update.
Dorothy Ho recommended this link because this link makes her look like she’s reading the cool sites.
Dorothy Ho was untagged.
“Same old, same old, tired comment” on Someone’s status.
Dorothy Ho
Meltdown! – with Ruby and Maxine at Home.
about 45 minutes ago via Facebook Mobile
Dorothy Ho has now spent 3 hours, 34 minutes, 2 seconds on Facebook today.
Dorothy Ho spied on/looked at 5 profiles of friends of friends.
Dorothy Ho added 7 new photos to the album It’s All About Me, It’s Always About Me. Like me, okay?
Dorothy Ho shares photos of her kids because that’s what her life is about. You share photos of pets because that’s what your life is about. We all share photos of food because that’s what it’s about in life.
Dorothy Ho checked every 2 minutes to see if anyone liked/commented on her link/photo/update.
Dorothy Ho
Facebook is just another place to know a version of me.
10 seconds ago via Facebook Mobile | Like | Comment
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