To the person who came up with the toy that my kid is screaming about as I leave the toy store without purchasing it, this is for you.
DID YOU NOT PLAY WITH STICKS AS A CHILD?
Merge mermaid, fairy, and princess. Behold: The Mer-Fairy-Princess. Who cares if it is impossible to fly underwater? Don’t tell the scientists at Barbie HQ.
DON’T CALL IT PINK, IT’S MAGENTA!
Pinkify the crap out of it.
WHY YES, I NAMED HER JUSTINIANNALYN-CRYSTAL.
The Mer-Fairy-Princess’ name must have more than four syllabuses. Bonus if the parent is unable to pronounce or spell the name.
I know how you think. I’m coming for you.