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Monthly Archive for March, 2011
Memento from folks’ Hawaiian cruise. It tastes exactly like nuts sprinkled with Spam powder.
Oh hellzya!
Used an infinity pool lately? You work yourself out but you don’t get anywhere.
Wake up every time you are just about to enter deep sleep? That’s how it feels to run on empty.
Ever tread water? If you are as fit as me, you are probably barely keeping your head up.
One step forward, two steps back? Yeah, you may have put one to sleep, but the other is yelling, the house is a mess, you need to do groceries, and seriously, you’re out of clean bath towels.
How about those naked dreams? You might as well be naked to the world when you leave your home unbathed, uncombed, in the T-shirt you slept in, accessorized with bad breath and a bawling infant in a carseat. Even though you really don’t want to see anyone, you still need to get your older kid to school.
That plastic rabbit the greyhounds chase around the track? You’re the greyhound. The rabbit? Some elusive fantasy of your life all sorted out.
Okay, just how many bad analogies can I come up with? Yup, folks, there’s nothing quite like staying home all day with Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Ah, how sleep deprivation breeds self-pity.
Yes, the fact that I do indeed have the World’s Cutest Two-Month-Old (Title Last Held By The Fabulous Miss Ruby) and the World’s Sassiest Three-Year-Old does mitigate my misery somewhat.
I only wished Cuteness slept more than three hours at night. And Sassiness was potty-trained.
Inspired by Mark Menjivar’s photo essay on people’s fridges, here’s a peek into our fridge. Taken at 3 pm on Tuesday, March 8, 2011.
What’s in your fridge?
The way we were.
A man on a mission.
Thumbs-up if you know what you’re doing.
The hole. In the ground. In our bank accounts.
Building a foundation in Seattle winter is not for the faint of heart.
Did I say winter? Yeah. I meant winter.
Looks like a hot mess, but this is progress.
I mentioned the rain, right?
Praise be the Concrete Gods! We have foundation!
Somewhere, in some forest, there are a lot fewer trees.
Jay is single-handedly willing this house into existence.
Well, hello there!
We just killed someone’s view.
Don’t look now, but I think they are building the roof.
You can’t see it here, but the Frame Masters are working double time to create rooms in the house.
We have roof. We have skylights. We have hope this house is going to be complete!
Ready, set, WINDOWS!
Now the work moves inside. Follow the build.
Top In App Purchases
Exhausted Moms™
Babygamer Technologies Ltd
OVER 0.000001 MILLION EXHAUSTED MOMS™ COPIES SOLD!
#1 Paid App in Seattle, USA
A huge thanks to our fan — we’re talking to you, Dot — for supporting the game, proving that uninterrupted sleep is indeed the sweetest thing in the world!
Exhausted Moms™ is a true-to-life action game unknowingly enjoyed by millions of moms around the world, with spit-up, poop-out, and cry-ins galore! Become the ultimate mom ninja and balance lack of sleep with stealth night diaper changing abilities. Unlock bonus points by answering emails coherently and updating Facebook with the right touch of hipster irony. While postpartum.
“What a great idea for new moms-to-be to prepare for what’s to come.” — Pregnancy
“Exhausted Moms™ is too realistic and depressing! But hey, that’s life!” — Time
“This will make a great Father’s Day gift for clueless dads who need to get a clue.” — Family Circle
“If you want to look disheveled with bloodshot eyes, and eat peanut butter toast all day, Exhausted Moms™ is for you.” — Gamer Review
Just download this app for a realistic experience of motherhood. With this app, set to go off VERY LOUDLY every five minutes, you will abandon consecutive hours of sleep for a chance to prove that YOU ARE THE MOM™! The recurring alarm of a baby’s wail, set at various volumes and pitches, will alert the player to make a move to appease the newborn. Score points and move up the levels by correctly guessing the baby’s wants. Hunger? Wet diaper? Burp stuck in the belly? It’s anyone’s guess. Understand your baby and move from Novice Mom to Ninja Mom-ster!
Grab a cup of coffee or beer (You’ll need one or both) and start this app! Game play is enhanced with surprise features designed to challenge moms during the game, including:
Unknown Wail: Nothing the player does will appease the baby.
Poopy Blowout: Self-Explanatory.
Laundry Day: Nothing is washed and baby has pooped all over the last clean onesie.
Turn On The Cute: Mysterious gurgles and smiles from baby to throw you off your game.
Wait…There’s More: Did we mention you have a toddler? Wait…there’s more. Now you have household cleaning chores. Wait…there’s more. Add on grocery shopping. Wait…there’s more. Who’s making dinner? Oh you. Wait…there’s more. Remember to pick up your first kid from school. Wait…there’s more.
Out Of Coffee: HOLY MOTHER OF SANITY WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO IF THERE IS NO COFFEE IN THE HOUSE?
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