Monthly Archive for September, 2010

There is OMG I’M PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD AND THE WORLD IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE ON EARTH and there is omg i’m so freaking tired from saying no to my toddler child that i’m lucky if i remember to eat my prenatal vitamins today.

I’ve become that prenatal vitamin forgetting woman so here I am to share my insights. What you will learn when you are preggers with Number 2 is…

…that you have little time to fantasize or think about the second unborn child like you did with the first. She will be lucky if she is not named Number 2 at the hospital.

…that myth about second trimester glow and energy is obviously being perpetuated by women who do not have an older toddler.

…that not only do you bend down and pick up two adults’ crap off the floor, you now also bend down and pick up your toddler’s crap off the floor. This sucks because toddler stuff lives on the floor and your growing belly is a severe impediment to bending over.

…that your toddler may surprise you with her maturity and understanding about Number 2. Not only is Ruby very careful around mommy’s belly, she knows I can’t carry her much these days. “You have a baby in your belly so you don’t have enough to carry me.”

…that all that recommended “reading to your baby” is taken care of by your constant story-telling with the older child.

…that the romanticism of childbirth disappears quickly once you’ve been through it before.

…that whereas you ate broccoli and grapefruit studiously during the first pregnancy, you now barely get by on leftovers and french fries.

…that it was easy to give up caffeine that last time, but somehow, a latte is the least you need to start your day now.

…that when everyone told you your bucolic life is going to change doesn’t bother saying anything with Number 2. Because with the economies of scale, if you have one baby, you might as well have five.

…that all the huffing and puffing you expect with pregnancy is still there. And then some. This time, your breathlessness is compounded by the number of times your mouth is opening and closing with the words “No whining!” “Come here!” “No,” and the subsequent three-minute explanation for that “No.”

…that if you thought pregnancy amnesia was kinda cute before, it is especially painful when you space out on childcare arrangements and have to work, clean the house, cook, and do laundry while a two-year-old is attached to your leg.

…that with your luck, Number 2 will come with your water breaking, in the middle of Starbucks on a busy morning, when you are alone bargaining with your toddler about the chocolate milk she may or may not buy.

Because you asked for it, Yiqi, this is for you.