She’s Sure She Knows What She’s Talking About.

We are who we like.

We may hate to admit it, but we surround ourselves with people who parrot our views, share our indignation at the things we are indignant about, maybe even hang out with folks that look like us; all because we want to feel safe and one of us, not them.

We start out as clean slates, babes with no more understanding of reality than Ruby talking to her stuffed animal Monkey. And who’s to say she’s not onto something?

We are molded first by family, then relatives, friends, work mates, spouses, et al. As we get older, our circles often narrow, our views more cemented.

It’s sobering to think you may not be right (I hesitate to say “wrong,” perhaps we only need an understanding that your right is someone else’s not-so-right.)

Take for example my foray into co-ops here. We joined one and met many wonderful families with relatively similar values of left-leaning, “liberal” whatever the hell that means, gay-friendly, tech-savvy, 30-something folks who want nothing but the best for their kids.

And even then I sometimes felt out of place. The group appeared to be a gathering of similar-minded people who parented on absolute rules. When talk turned to no screen time, no toys because “Hey, we are people who don’t believe in buying things so we make toys for our kids!”, only organic strawberries always, and no spanking, I was getting a mite uncomfortable nodding along.

I didn’t speak out. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t feel safe saying that I’ve left my kid in front of YouTube on a loop, buy lots of toys for Ruby because that’s why I work my part-time ass off, and – gasp – have eaten non-organic strawberries. I also don’t believe in parenting theories. I’ll never know if other parents felt the same way as me because no one offered differing views.

Ironically, the most liberal people may not be the most tolerant people, of other views, that is. Of course the same can be said for those at the far right.

We are strident no matter where we stand on this rainbow spectrum. Jay says we’re optimistic realists or cynical idealists. Either way, that sums up what I think we need: A balance, an ability to listen, an awareness of multiplicity, and yes, an ability to laugh at it all sometimes.

This is not to say I agree with the nonsense coming out of the mouths of truly nonsensical preachers such as Holocaust and global warming deniers, Sarah-Palin-is-intelligent-and-a-valid-option-for-2012 believers, or God owns that embryo in your body crazies.

I guess I’m not changing anytime soon. Are you?

And you wonder why we don’t get along.