Monthly Archive for January, 2010
What just happened?
I’m not sure too.
I was a happy kid.
Sure I got scolded, I got whacked, but I knew my parents loved me. We didn’t talk much about emotions growing up – No emotions, please, we’re Chinese – but I knew. I know.
So it took all of my effort to bite my tongue and shut up tonight when I had to listen to an hour of “Emotional Coaching” as a way of parenting.
I am not a Reader or Theorist when it comes to parenting. Or anything else for that matter. (Unless it’s an instruction book on knitting. That, I still need.)
I abhor books telling me what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel when I’m doing it, et al.
But that’s just me.
I’m that person who can’t understand the lure of Tony Robbins, has no interest in reading The Secret, and can’t stand talk shows that mine emotional soul-baring to its cheap conclusions.
I swear, no one talks about feelings as much as the Americans!
We live in the age of Politically Correct Parenting, Feel Good Parenting, You First No YOU FIRST Parenting, Passive Aggressive Parenting.
The basic premise of Emotional Coaching is to coach your child to what they are feeling so they don’t feel shafted by thinking you don’t understand their pain. Instead of telling your child not to say he hates his sibling, you have to say, “I understand you are feeling jealous about your sibling…”
I believe the way to go is somewhere between yelling at your child and sounding like a rehearsed therapist.
Is that too much to ask?
As you can see, I really, really, dislike books about parenting. Especially when the theories don’t seem to consider any other cultures, options, or ways of thinking. Are you telling me that people all over the world are parenting their kids with Emotional Coaching because that’s the best and only way?
That’s why I am looking forward to watching this.
People, life isn’t school. There is no single theory to ace it. Only your common sense. Use it.
Seeing as a certain Miss Ruby is about to turn the big To-Wo, it’s only appropriate that we pause to take stock of my life.
In the past year, I drove five blocks to get a latte.
In the past year, Ruby learned to walk.
In the past year, the most adventurous thing I ate was Cheesy Nacho Chips.
In the past year, Ruby ate hamburger for the first time, ice-cream for the first time, pickle for the first time, paint for the first time…
In the past year, I drank a lot of caffeine, and possibly more beer.
In the past year, Ruby drank a lot of apple juice.
In the past year, I felt trapped at home with a screaming toddler.
In the past year, Ruby felt trapped at home with a totally unfun mom. Let’s blow this joint already!
In the past year, I relished my rare moments of solitude.
In the past year, Ruby yelled ‘Mama’ and ran to hug me every time she saw me, even if I was gone for 15 minutes.
In the past year, I questioned my sanity juggling part-time work and mommying.
In the past year, Ruby developed a personality, learned two languages, figured out grammar, discovered big and fine motor skills, and still managed to look fabulous doing it.
In the past year, I learned how much another human being cost.
In the past year, Ruby proved she was worth every cent. And then some.
In the past year, I easily forgot I had another important person in my life.
In the past year, Ruby showed me a side of Jay I never knew. Hi, daddy!
In the past year, I grew one year older.
In the past year, Ruby did too.
Play-Doh on the table. Carefully positioned camera.
Cue Ruby.
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