Monthly Archive for May, 2008

Six Degrees Of Famousity

I know no celebrities. Nor can I be linked to any in six degrees.*

* Unless Ruby becomes a Superstar Yodeler or Champion Cutie Pie (see above), of which she certainly will be, then in that case, I am one degree from a celebrity.

But seriously.

We were at a dinner the other day and the host said his sister was college roommates with a girl who was the daughter of an actress and will no one gawk at the graduation ceremony please.

Then another guest offered that his high school buddy was friends with Chelsea. As in Clinton.

I drew a blank. Nothing.

Am I the only sad human in the world to fail Six Degrees of Separation?

Published by dorothyho on May 31, 2008 in Musings. 3 Comments

The Anticipation Of The Anticipation

The thing about going home once a year is that you build up expectations of EVERYTHING you are GOING TO EAT once you get there. (I once landed in Singapore and went straight to the hawker center for fish ball noodles. At 6 am in the morning.)

They say our national pastime is eating, and by golly, am I going to do my nationalistic duty!

But anticipation is a dicey thing. You can overthink a meal and of course it turns out horrid. But you know what? I’m looking forward to these tasty morsels.

GET IN MY BELLY!

Thanks, Superlame, for giving voice to my fave foods! (Apologies to those who saw several versions of this. I was having a hard time with my pronouns since the food was talking, not me.)

Published by dorothyho on May 30, 2008 in Musings and Photography. 9 Comments

I Guess You’re Never Too Old…

…TO GET ALLERGIES!

Holey Nosedrips, Batman!

This here 34-year-old has been hit with a massive Spring allergy attack.

Look, I’m 34. I’m Asian. I grew up where there were no seasons. At most, I was allergic to Ã¢â‚¬â€ maybe Ã¢â‚¬â€ hiking Bukit Timah Nature Reserve as a sullen 17-year-old.

I’ve lived in the US for more than eight years without incident, and now, NOW, a few days before I am to board a plane THAT HAS TO ASCEND AND DESCEND, causing all those good things like CHANGING AIR PRESSURE, I am the Woman With A Sinus Issue.

Worse, I don’t even know what’s giving me the allergy. (Repeat: I have never had allergies in my life!) The doctor said I could do an allergy test when I’m back, but meanwhile, I can only deal with it as best as I can, with Over The Counter and Prescription medications.

Jay basically bought up the entire Allergy Aisle at Bartell’s.

With my luck, I’m probably allergic to the packinging.

Published by dorothyho on May 28, 2008 in Musings. 4 Comments

Love Is…

Lifetime Channel-After School Special-Soaring String Music ALERT!

What you are about to read is completely and utterly SIGH INDUCING. It is in NO WAY snarky and in EVERY WAY treacly sweet. Please gnaw on a piece of expired jerky if this warning is making you nervous.

Now that we understand each other, I just want to say that this is my favorite photo of my two most favorite people in the world. That’s all I wanted to say about that.

And to finish you off with a sentimental right hook, I’m leaving you with THIS.

They say you can’t choose the family you have, and here, Ruby looks a little nervous about the one she got. Too bad for her we’re non-exchangeable and refundable.

#END OF AWKWARD WHERE DO I LOOK NOW FEELING#

As you were.

Published by dorothyho on May 27, 2008 in Musings and Photography. 2 Comments

Kids Do The Darndest Things

The thing about having a kid is that you start noticing other kids.

Let’s just say I was in line to get lunch somewhere in the neighborhood, oh let’s just say a place called Vios. Let’s just say a little kid in front of me grabbed a piece of chocolate from the counter and excitedly unwrapped it. Let’s just say she dropped the piece of chocolate on the concrete floor IN A CAFE WHERE PEOPLE WALK AROUND IN SHOES. Let’s just say she bent over, picked it up, and started chewing.

Let’s just say I gagged a little in my mouth.

The only good thing Ã¢â‚¬â€ let’s just say Ã¢â‚¬â€ is that she picked it up in under five seconds.

Published by dorothyho on May 26, 2008 in Musings. 0 Comments

How To Tell That You Are A Mom (Or Dad)

Signs That You Are A Parent

(1) There is no such thing as an ugly photo of Ruby. (Even when she looks like a surprised bald 75-year-old man with five chins.)

(2) You walk towards your baby even before she cries, because you know she is about to cry.

(3) You read all those “Toy Recall” stories and write down the serial numbers of the faulty toys.

(4) You respond to the name “Mom.”

(5) You call your lover “Dad” and it actually sounds kinda sexy.

(6) You can change a diaper in the dark.

(7) You have no problems talking about poop over dinner.

(8) You click on spam that includes any stock baby photo and/or subject lines such as “Parents, do you want to increase your child’s brain power?”

(9) You prefer to shop for Ruby.

(10) You have forgotten what you used to smell like.

Published by dorothyho on May 22, 2008 in Musings. 5 Comments

Rest In Pieces, Lumix

Do you know how hard it is to fix a broken Lumix?

It’s “Ruby is tired and hungry but you insist on bathing her at this time while she yells her head off and later won’t go to bed no matter what you do” hard.

That hard.

Published by dorothyho on May 21, 2008 in Musings. 4 Comments

How Many Things Can You Do With One Hand?

Multitasking has taken a whole new meaning as a parent. If you thought you multitasked before, think again. Drinking coffee while reading the news is NOT multitasking.

Feeding Ruby while blogging with one hand using shortcuts that require holding down the Command key plus another key, talking to Ruby, and holding a towel with your chin is multitasking.

List Of Things I Can Do With One Hand (While Variously Holding/Feeding/Comforting The Rubes With The Other):

1. Boil water, open tea bag, make tea.

2. Cook instant noodles, eat. (Much harder with left hand.)

3. Open bills, write checks, glue envelopes. (Also much harder with left hand.)

4. Load laundry. Folding still impossible.

5. Prepare diaper bag. Many of you may not think this is an impressive one-hand skill, but this is a precision military operation best done with all faculties present. Have you ever run out of wipes? Then you know what I mean.

At this point, I want to give a shout-out to parents with more than one kid. Do you use your feet too?

No post is complete without mentioning the reason for the entire upending of my life as I know it, so I’m closing with a totally gratuitous photo of Her Poopiness The Ruby.

Yes, Rubes, yes. Stripes make your butt look big.

Published by dorothyho on May 20, 2008 in Musings. 3 Comments

It’s Hard Out Here For A Babe

Life sure is hard.

Especially when you’re three months old TODAY and the Square of Despair keeps beating you in the Game of Who Can Pull Harder.

I hate to break it to her that those toys aren’t ever going to budge.

Still, optimism is a great quality to have. So happy three-month birthday, Rubes. I hope you beat the Square tomorrow.

Published by dorothyho on May 19, 2008 in Musings. 0 Comments

Retreating With A Baby

Design Commission held its second retreat on Whidbey Island this weekend. The difference from last year’s retreat, OBVIOUSLY, is that my hair is longer.

And oh, I am no longer pregnant.

Which may explain why Ruby is in 99.9 percent of the photos, all taken with the iPhone, at least till I get me a new camera.

Apple, I would like YOU to pay ME to talk up your iPhone camera, because, as this weekend proves, your phone camera kicks ass, and I am a GREAT phone-tographer.

The Design Commissioners discussed Design Commissioning stuff, while Ruby wondered why the baby in the mirror always copied her.

Parker brought this Beer and Clamato (clam and tomato juice, people!) drink but I fell asleep before I had a chance to taste it. Damn early bedtime, a peril of parenthood!