One Year Older, And Still One Giant Being

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With a silhouette like a Teletubby and still very much pregnant, thank you very much, I have many, and I mean many, strangers say even stranger things to me when I accidentally venture out of my home at this point in the pregnancy.

“Bless you,” says a woman, pointing to my belly.

“How are you? Besides being very pregnant?” asks cheery waitress.

“Take care of your baby!” offers another man, as he waves to me.

“If anything happens, I have a phone here,” prompts a salesgirl helping me into a changing room.

“Oh boy, you look like you’re about to have a baby.” (OH YOU DON’T SAY, GENIUS.)

I am officially sick of being pregnant.

Turning 34 only makes me realize I will be 34 years older than mini DJ, not 33.

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