The Seven (Non-Deadly) Scenes Of Christmas

Ah, the holidays.

When nothing says “Happy Holidays” more than men in green tights handing out candy to your children, outfitting your house with lights visible from the moon, and wrapping that $5 gift in $10 worth of boxes, ribbons and tinsel.

We overdo it because we can.

‘Tis the season to be all about me, me, me (and that plastic Jesus in the mall nativity scene).

So here it is, in no particular order, Jay and Dot’s Seven (Non-Deadly) Scenes of Christmas.

GLUTTONY: The Christmas Eve meal that made both my tummies want to explode.

LUST: Those curves, those antlers, those chocolate-covered strawberry mooses.

SLOTH: When watching other people prepare your meal isn’t such a bad thing.

ENVY: Dot’s apple juice on the right is pretty envious of Jay’s white wine on the left. All I can say is, there’s going to be beer in the delivery room.

WRATH: In failing at every table IQ game I try when others succeed.

GREED: It’s not the gift that counts, it’s the number of gifts. So keep ‘em coming. Christmas isn’t over until I say so.

PRIDE: When Jay says he can open a champagne bottle with a knife (like on TV) and actually does it.