This is us hiding our post-Turkey double chins at Louise’s Thanksgiving dinner.
Turkeyholics Anonymous 12-Step Program
with apologies to the AA 12-Step Program
1. We woke up admitting that we were powerless to resist the upcoming Turkeylicious Fest.
2. Believed in our Tummy’s Greater Power to digest the overwhelming portions.
3. Made a decision to give up all meals before approaching the Turkey.
4. Made brutally honest measurements of our body pre-Turkey.
5. Admitted to ourselves and any other non-vegetarian the exact nature of our carnivoric cravings.
6. Be ready to receive the Turkey.
7. Humbly drenched the Turkey in cranberries (and gravy).
8. Made a list of all the animals we had harmed in the making of the Turkeylicious Thanksgiving, and became willing to make them taste the best they had ever tasted.
9. Made direct and copious consumption of such animals wherever possible in the meal, except when to do so would interfere with the consumption of dessert.
10. Continued to measure our bodies post-Turkey and when we were fat, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through Tums and Antacid to improve our digestion of Turkey.
12. Having had a massive bowel movement as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Turkeyholics, and to practise these principles in all our affairs.
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