Did you know there are Male and Female eggplants?
I found that out from the guide at the Savor Seattle Tours. She’s holding the female in her right hand.
The females have a longish dot at the bottom, while the males have the shorter dot.
I was so perturbed by all that length talk that I forgot which one she said tasted better.
Dang.
I attended my first baby shower this weekend.
Baby showers aren’t really done in Singapore. I guess the main event there is the kid’s first month anniversary, when you send out the cake and red eggs and get an ang-bao with cash in return!
I just like how practical that is.
Don’t give 10 of the same thing or none of what parents want, but money, yeah…that’s the ticket.
My favorite part of the shower was the cupcakes, which came with their own plastic baby dollsâ€â€with a mohawk. Too Kool For Skool.
Still, it was interesting. There was good food, a random game called Horse Balls (you can see the contraption behind the woman on the right), and the gift opening with the obligatory “Wow! That’s so beautiful!”
I guess everyone’s got to practise saying that too: “Aw, it’s so beautiful!” when the baby’s born.
I mean, if I had an ugly baby, would anyone say it to my face?
The first day I met Jay.
Tompkins Square Park. New York City. February 2000. (Can’t remember the exact date.)
I took the photograph before I said a word to him.
Wait, before you think I’m a stalker! I was on assignment covering bike messengers. I had to shoot him!
We parted ways, never to meet again.
But naturally, in a city of 8 million, we randomly run into each other again, on April 1, 2000. (That I remember.)
I still have the first email he sent on April 5.
In it, he tried to get me to buy a bike, saying, “Remember: If you put a hood ornament on the bars, it will protect you from evil cab drivers.”
In seven plus years, it’s safe to say that Jay’s mastered a little Singlish.
Most days, I do my standard “Engrish” accent, but there are days I just have to let it all go, because I just can’t speak properly anymore.
Jay has had to adapt.
One of the first things he learnt was the kiap-kiap (pictured).
I don’t know what it’s called. I don’t care what it’s called.
I call it the kiap-kiap. Because it kiaps stuff up. “Pass the kiap-kiap please!” “Use the kiap-kiap!”
Other key Singlish we use around the house include Wah Lao (Oh my god), Lah (Singlish tag to end every sentence), Makan (food/eat), Tar Pao (takeout), Dowan (don’t want), Oleng Joo (orange juice), and a singular Dotism that’s not quite Singlish‗sauce” to describe every kind of gravy, dressing, and actual sauce on dishes. As in “Don’t forget the salad sauce.” “Put the brown sauce in the pork.”
It’s a wonder Jay understands me at all.
We went to Point No Point today to say goodbye to Hugh, whose family was going to scatter his ashes at the beach where they had a home.
Jay and I take the Edmonds ferry to the town of Kingston, where Point No Point is.
Puget Sound in the morning.
The neighbors’ house. Yup, folks, it’s a house. Can you tell what this guy likes? I almost want to scream, “Ahoy Ahab!”
Point No Point Lighthouse. Oh how I love lighthouses. But you already knew that.
We found this giant rock on the beach. Jay’s trying to pick it up.
There were millions of these barnacles on the giant rock. I swear I could hear them “breathing.” If you look long enough, some of them move. It was spooky. I asked Jay if we could eat barnacles. He said no.
We saw a deer on the side of the road.
Dee, Hugh’s wife, had us all write messages to Hugh, which we burned in a bonfire.
We toast Hugh. We celebrate his life, even as we say goodbye.
I spotted this sign recently and thought of one of my fave Flickr groupsâ€â€Stick Figures in Peril.
The following stick figures you are about to see are in all manner of pain, dismemberment, and imminent danger, but by golly, is it funny.
Click at your own peril.
I have certain Rules of Engagement when it comes to my food.
I call it the “No Fraternizing” rule.
I bring this up because I noticed that Jay put his salmon sashimi right next to his waffle and sweet apple turnover during the Salty’s Buffet Assault.
“You can’t do that! They’re fraternizing!”
He shrugged and put it all in his mouth.
Certain items have no business fraternizing with certain items.
Everyone should learn the Rules of Engagement, especially supermarket checkout baggers.
You! Yes, you, Safeway bagger!
Notice I separate my raw food from my fruit from my vegetables from my toilet duck when I lay them all on the checkout line.
I do that so you can bag them separately. Not so you can put raw chicken and apples in the same bag as the washing detergent.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT!
After the alarming statistic released today that said one in four Americans read no books last year, I mention to Jay I think I contributed to that number.
(Jay concurred. Like me, he is an avid online and magazine reader.)
I am a finicky reader when it comes to books. Fiction books, to me, are like vegetables.
I’ve got to love it to really love it. When I start a fiction book, I’ve got to finish it. Ergo, thrillers are my favorite, and pretty much, the only fiction I read. Which is to say, not a lot.
However, I do love non-fiction.
I re-read my non-fiction. That’s how much I love it.
Here it is, in no particular order, the (non) definitive reading list of low-brow Dot (in recent memory.)
Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
A Cook’s Tour by Anthony Bourdain
Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing by Ted Conover
I’m A Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson
Anything by Dave Barry
Anything by PJ O’Rourke
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
Word Freak by Stefan Fatsis
Fresh Air Fiend by Paul Theroux
Look, I didn’t read them ALL last year, so don’t be jumpin’ to conclusions.
Jay and I are as different as Someone Who Keeps Instruction Manuals and Someone Who Tosses Instruction Manuals.
Being the dutiful kiasu Singaporean that I am, I always send in the warranty card and keep the instruction manual, just in case.
Being the able-to-figure-out-things-in-a-single-bound Jay that he is, the first thing he tosses is the instruction manual.
“Wait, Jay, don’t you think we need to read it first?”
“Dot, there’s only one button on this machine.”
All of the above.
And in that order.
Please, roll me over and burst me now. Please.
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