If there’s one thing worse than killing one spider before 6 am…
…it’s killing two spiders.
Yes, two. Before 6 am. Before consciousness kicks in. Before I’ve had any carbohydrates whatsoever in my system.
I wake up, go to the bathroom, do what I’ve got to do, turn around, and see the BIGGEST spider in the world.
I yelp “F**k it!”, run out of the bathroom to grab a slipper, and give it a good whack.
Don’t ask me why I didn’t use the slippers on my feet. (Well, you can ask me, and the answer is “Hello Kitty.”)
I think, okay, that’s all the excitement I can take before food. But nooooo.
I head to the computer to read the news, and there is the SECOND BIGGEST spider in the world on my wall.
This time, I use the Hello Kitty slippers on my feet and whack away.
I believe in karma, so I’ve probably ruined it for myself now.
Two spiders in less than a minute?
That and all the cute furry animals I eat have got to put me in Negative Reincarnation Points now.
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