The Woman Who Cannot Sewâ€â€that would be meâ€â€is making Christmas ornaments for a charity auction. With a needle and yarn, no less.
[Applaud now.]
I decided my Santas would be preachy.
You know, ’tis the season and all that jazz.
Fa la la la la, so listen up, punk.
[I hope they don't send these back.]
I like to swear. A lot. Some of you may have the misfortune to notice it. In person.
Last night, I thought about my phrase Holy Cheese Bits! (Which I’d used to describe some darn good pizza), and so, in the spirit of Robin’s (as in Batman and Robin’s) Holy Atomic Pile!â€â€actually used in a 1966 episodeâ€â€here are my “substitute” swear words. Please use at your own peril.
Holy Smoke Stacks!
Used to describe the visible puffs of air coming out of your mouth when the weather drops below zero
Holy Meatola!
When your breakfast appears with BOTH bacon and sausage
Holy Stuffed Turkey/Holy Food Baby!
After yet another gi-normous meal
Holy Money Sucker!
On entering a store you know you will spend too much money in
Holy Spell Check!
When you spot a misspelling but resist the urge to pull out your pen or point it out too obviously, especially if it is part of an art piece at the new kickass Denver Art Museum
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