It’s So Hot It’s Not Funny

No, I am not reacting to the price of that gorgeous garden artifact.

I am just trying to find shade at Lowe’s outdoor Yard Sale.

You’d think my Singaporean ass is used to hot weather, but it was 95 F (35 C) today and I was positively melting-grouchy-hot-and-bothered.

We, of course, pick the hottest days to work outside. Remember “paining” a few Sundays ago?

As a HDB heartlander, I have never gardened, never raised a pick, never pulled weeds. I don’t know moss from Astroturf. I don’t know why Japanese Maple isn’t sweet and on a donut. But I love garden gnomes, or at least the idea of a garden gnome. (Jay, at least I didn’t say pink flamingos.)

My idea of a garden is Zen Minimalism (aside from the gnome), very unlike everybody else’s idea in Seattle of green, flowering, complex-four-syllable-named plants.

I admit it. I am an urban, indoor, apartment-dwelling human. Give me words over weeds any day.

Obviously, I am not doing a good job assimilating in the all-American life. If I were, I’d have shelled out 100 bucks for that awesome Victorian Village Fountain.