Monthly Archive for June, 2006

When you’re detoxing, any piece of food is precious.

Even grapefruits.

And especially grapefruits meant for breakfast.

And—and—even more especially grapefruits that will be your only meal till lunch.

The eaten half is mine, the uncut half is Jay’s. As I greedily slurped my grapefruit, my nervous hands slipped and a smidgen fell into the sink.

I was too weak to react and too slow to follow my own five-second rule.

GRAPEFRUIT DOWN! GRAPEFRUIT DOWN!

It never made it; it never had a chance.

At least it’s in Waste Disposal Heaven, which is a lot better than Dot’s Tummy Hell.

I said it, and by golly, we are actually doing it.

After three weeks of excellent restaurant dining with the Visiting Visitors, Jay and I decided to do a mini-detox. (I say mini because the original idea was to only have liquids—as in fruit juice and water only—but we wisely decided to just eat “cleanly” and not shock our bodies into collapsing on the way to work.)

We decided to cut out caffeine (supremely painful for Jay), meats, white rice and no processed food, such as chips, biscuits (extremely hard for me), ice-cream, etc.

Day 1 was hell. To start the day, I was used to some random biscuit and tea; Jay was used to his bowl of cereal and coffee, especially coffee. I thought he was going to bite my head off.

Instead, we each had half a grapefruit. And nothing till lunch, which was organic turkey with organic cheese on wheat bread. Dinner was brown rice and kale. And a killer juice mix made from carrots, grapefruit, apples, bananas and some random green-colored drink from the fridge.

Day 2 and 3 were more of the same.

It’s Day 4 and we’re doing very well. We both feel better, and we just had grilled tofu and steamed broccoli for dinner. [Full disclosure: We broke the detox to have a light Japanese lunch today.]

We just went to an organic market and bought four more grapefruits.

What I Have Learned So Far:
(1) I have discovered why millions of Chinese don’t eat brown rice—it is chewy, and not in a good way.

(2) If it’s green, it’s probably healthy.

(3) If it tastes bland, it’s probably healthy.

(4) If Jay can give up coffee without turning into a werewolf, pigs can fly.

I know I promised updates on Peter’s show, but forgive me, I’m still digesting this buffet brunch I ate at 11 am this morning.

Ninety percent of my blood is in my tummy right now. I only have enough blood to operate one important organ at a time.

With all the family and friends visiting, we’ve been eating out for three weeks straight.

Jay and I are talking about doing a liquid detox for 15 days. I wonder if they have bacon-flavored water.