Why I Fail As A Drinker

I had a hangover today.

I woke up early, took one Tylenol and one Oreo, read the news, and went back to bed. I didn’t wake up again until a few hours later. I didn’t have my first meal until 2 pm. All day, my body felt like it was moving ahead of my brain.

I’m embarrassed to admit that all it took to reduce me to this state was one beer and one glass of white wine the night before.

Jay likes to remind me I’m a cheap date. I fall asleep at the first drop of beer. It’s a terrible reputation to live down.

In my defence, I’d like to note that my liver is the size of an edamame.