Monthly Archive for April, 2006

This is what Anthony Bourdain does for a living?

I just finished watching my Tivo’d “Asia Special” episode where he chomped his way through Japan (specifically Osaka) and China. [On paper, Bourdain's the chef-at-large at Les Halles in NYC, and he lives up to the title—he's hardly there. Jay took me dinner there once for my birthday, but we didn't see him.]

So let me get this right: This guy gets paid to fly to exotic places to eat, drink, and smoke like a chimney, and yap into the camera.

I need a better agent. Check, please!

Do you remember the moment you discovered a terrible truth?

Like Santa Claus isn’t real. The muppets don’t move themselves. The exact ingredients of your favorite food.

I had a moment like that today.

I had to go read Wikipedia’s definition of Hello Kitty. I had to go google the current designer Setsuko Yonekubo.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting this.

Maybe someone pink-er. Someone Hello Kitty-er.

It seemed like a Behind-The-Wizard-Of-Oz’s-Curtains moment. Why, oh why did I peep?

Some truths are better left unknown. Perhaps I want to believe Hello Kitty repopulated herself.

We all prefer to navigate life with flawed beliefs or, even better, with blissful ignorance. Unlucky to uncover a truth? Ignore it or re-cast it. Who has time to learn from it?

For me, Setsuko Yonekubo came way out of left field today. I’m not sure where to file this piece of information, but at least now I know I have it.

This is about the little neighborhood group that could.

Jay and I live among people bound by one thing: We all can’t sleep on weekends. The suffering varies from “Damn that music is loud” to “What’s the f**king problem with the club” to “Please for the love of God let me sleep”. Swearing comes naturally when something as basic as sleep is denied.

I imagine they use this tactic quite a bit in Guantanamo.

The short story is we won in Small Claims Court, making legal history as the first group of people to successfully sue a noisy public nuisance in Small Claims in Seattle.

The long story?

Since there was no precedence, we were told to expect the judge to tell us to take it to Federal Court as a class action suit. (As a little background, Small Claims only allows the judge to give us monetary compensation. The judge is unable to put an injunction to close the club or stop the owner from playing the music, for example. So the judge can legally do nothing to make the noise go away.)

This was a symbolic victory. The owner needs to pay us a sum far less than what we asked for, and there is no legal order for him to obey the noise ordinances, still! The judge had harsh words for the City, the Police and the owner, conceding that the City had failed to enforce the law.

It took us more than six hours to get the verdict: waiting, testifying, recess, waiting, listening to the owner as he countersued and accused the neighbors of:

(a) A racist conspiracy. From a group of whites, asians, african-americans, native americans.
(b) Harassment and destroying his business. Yes, we all stay up till 3 am to make 911 calls because we want to. He’s not even at the club. He lives in another city.
(c) Owning old houses with holes and bad insulation. Riiight.

Justice may take her time, but Karma, work your magic. Please. I’m hoping someone comes back as chewing gum under a shoe.