A garden gnome, with wicked construction skills, primarily to do with doors, moldings, trim and exterior paint.
That failing (I hear gnomes have been backordered on Walmart’s website), I have come up with an alternative list. Here it is, in no particular order, Dot’s Santa Doesn’t Care If You’re Good Or Bad List.
1. To go to the Museum of Modern Art to see the current Pixar exhibition
2. To eat a bowl of fishball noodles and yong tau foo in one meal
3. To watch Ethan teach Zachary say “Auntie Dot”
4. To gain superpower strength because, well, it’s cool to be a superhero
5. To find a way to put all fake-news programs on my iShuffle
6. A legal (read: Does not get Dot arrested) way to disable Mundos’ (frigging noisy club behind our house) sub-woofer system
7. The largest Polaroid camera collection in the world
8. People to question religion, and seriously, no one religion is any better, so get over it
9. Everyone finds true love, or at least a “very good” seven-A, triple ***, “authentic” replica type love
10. Peace and Goodwill to All Men, Women, Pets and Gnomes
I dedicate this list to the best Christmas Lister, after Monty Python, Dave Barry.
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