Especially one as cute as this? And with food stored in his mouth like a nervous chipmunk facing its first winter? (My advance apologies to scientists. I have no idea if chipmunks actually face winter. The only one I know wears a red tee and is called Alvin.)
So I’m home visiting the family, and trying desperately to re-connect with two adorable nephews. The three-year-old calls me Auntie Dot, the other (seen here) just grunts when he sees me. If only adults could see the thought processes of babies.
What the hell is he thinking as he looks at me?
Baby: “Who is this strange large person blocking my view of Ernie on TV?”
Auntie Dot: “Zachary, oh Zachary! Look over here. You. Are. So. Cute.
Notice how adults turn into blubbering babies when they talk to babies? What is it that makes us dumb down our conversation?
Okay okay. So I’ve had too much time to think about it, and yes, I’m suffering from jetlag so bear with my ruminations of babytalk.
I tried to sing, thinking it might calm babies, but then realized I only knew Sting and Phantom of the Opera songs. I debated just talking politics, you know, what with all that research that says babies do absorb more than you know?
There were moments of uncomfortable silence, but I think it was only on my part.
In the end, I turned to naming everything in sight, pointing out colors and functions.
“Look over there! (And why do we always tell babies to look where we want to look?) It’s a red boat. A boat floats on water. And that’s a yellow wagon…”
“Uh.”
He picked up the red boat and put it in his mouth. If anything else, at least Zachary is going to be a genius at color coordination.
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