
Ah, Discipline.
The most mysterious thing (un)known to parents, right behind colic.
Discipline, or lack of, paired with unique kid personalities, has produced Mondern Civilization’s Kid Terrors.
You’ve seen them in toy stores. You’ve seen them in coffee shops. You’ve seen them – gasp – in your own homes, or among friends.
According to some guy, these fine specimens of non-Discipline exist mostly in the spoiled American landscape; while kids from other cultures take care of themselves, use a machete for good, and also eat asparagus.
I’m no Tiger mom, especially since I’m up against CUTENESS THAT CRIES UNBELIEVABLY LOUDLY. However, I grew up with corporal punishment; while my kids live in a culture of the “Time Out,” which incidentally, is as mysterious to me as quantum physics.
I’m thinking, if I’m a kid, sitting by myself in a corner isn’t punishment. What in blazes am I supposed to ponder? It sure as hell isn’t going to be the infraction I just committed. If anything, I’m thinking, “Oops. Hungry. Gummy? How about potty? Maybe later? Maybe right here so mommy can clean up after me.”
I’m sure some kids respond to Time Outs, just as some kids respond to the smack on the hands. Come to think of it, I have seen kids whom I believe REALLY NEED a smack. But oh well, we live in a place where that’s kinda frowned upon.
Which brings me to our rather feeble attempt at control.
We all know who runs the house. THEM KIDS. But pretending to have some semblance of control makes me feel better, and drink less.
So here we are at Sticker Central. You do something for me without tantruming like a crazy banshee? You get to put a sticker on a chart. A big, official-looking chart with lines and shit!
We have not established what the stickers mean, since for now, she appears to be happy “earning” them.
Oh joy.
Repeat after me: I’m in control. I’m in control. I’m in control.
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